


Silence

by fianllyclean



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Father/Son Incest, Incest, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, it also is probably confusing but oh well, it’s kinda messed up but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 09:39:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13164252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fianllyclean/pseuds/fianllyclean
Summary: Nine months since he was almost killed. Nine months since he was kidnapped and tourtured. Nine months since he remembered his past.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m currently obsessed with the Blacklist, and after Anslo Garrick I officially stan Reddington and Ressler together. And then this story happened. I hope you like it and feel free to drop a kudo or a comment!

P R O L O G U E

“How long have they been going on for, Ressler?”  
Silence.  
“I’m not going to judge you, no one will. We want to help you.”  
Silence.  
“I have nightmares, too.”  
Silence.  
“Donald.”  
Silence.  
“Please.”  
Silence.  
“Nine months.”

Nine months since he was almost killed. Nine months since he was kidnapped and tourtured. Nine months since he remembered his past.

Nine months.

He should’ve been fine. He did pass the psychologist's test, didn’t he? Nine months was a long time to deal with what happened in Alaska. But not for Donald Ressler.

  
C H A P T E R  O N E

Donald drove the Jeep down the dirt pathway, being careful not to hit the magnitude of trees surrounding him. He came to a stop in front of a wooden cabin, shutting the car’s engine off. He stepped out and went to the door, knocking on it before he heard a voice. “Who are you?”

Turning around, he was face to face with a middle-aged woman. She was his height with straight shoulder length blonde hair, had beautiful baby blue eyes, and Donald had to admit she was attractive. So maybe he had a thing for older women or men, but who cares?

“I’m Donald Ressler, with the FBI.” He pulled out his badge and the woman inspected it before nodding. “I’m Nancy Goodwill. What brings you out here?” Donald put his badge away and looked around. “We’re looking for someone who’s connected to a criminal. Have you heard of Raymond Reddington?”

Nancy shook her head before stepping past him and opening the front door. “Why don’t we go inside? It’s a little chilly out here.” Donald looked in the woods for a second before entering the house, closing the door behind him. The cabin was smaller that it looked, but it felt homey. He took a seat on a leather couch near a fireplace and Nancy brought him a cup of coffee.

“Thank you, but you didn’t need to make me anything.” “Of course I did! You’re my guest now, Agent Ressler.” Donald smiled at her and took a sip of the coffee before placing it down on the coffee table in front of him. “Why are you looking for a criminal in rural Alaska? There’s hardly anyone out here.” “We’ve been told that Reddington has a family member living here. I’ve been looking for him for five years now, and I’m just trying to find him before he disappears again.”

Nancy nodded and was about to say something when she looked at Donald’s wrist. She grabbed it gently, running her thumb over the scar. “What happened?” Donald shivered as his scar was touched; it was always sensitive. “When I was four, my house was on fire, and I was trying to escape when a bracelet my mother made me caught on fire. It, um, burned my soulmate’s name off my wrist.”

He didn’t know why he was telling Nancy this, he hadn’t even told anyone on the task force, but she oddly made him feel safe. “That’s just awful, honey. Do you remember the name?” Donald shook his head, and before he could help it, he was crying. Nancy pulled him into her arms, and he sobbed on her shoulder, shaking with each breath he took.

“It’s okay, Donny, mommy’s here. Mommy’s here.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m currently on winter break, so hopefully I’ll be updating this frequently over the next two weeks! And I just want to say thank you for reading my decent story lol.

C H A P T E R  T W O

It took a few minutes for Donald to stop crying, but even when his breathing became normal again and the tears were dried, Nancy didn’t let go of him. “M-Mom?” He choked out, and Nancy pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Yeah, it’s me, sweetie. I’m never gonna let you go again, I promise.”

Donald’s eyes watered, but he refused to cry again. Before he could ask his “mom” a million questions, the door slammed open, and Nancy’s arms tightened around him. “You told me that little brat was never going to see us again! Why the fucking hell is he here?!” Donald suppressed a whimper, vaguely remembering someone yelling almost the exact same thing to him as a child.

“He’s with the FBI, Ben! And you can guess who they’re looking for!” Before Donald was going to turn and look at Ben, the man grabbed him from Nancy and threw him on the floor. “Why did you ever have a child with Reddington in the first place?!” Ben yelled at Nancy before looking down at her son.

“You’re pathetic!” Ben spat on Donald and stomped out of the house, the house shaking as the front door was slammed closed. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” Nancy pulled Donald up and he nodded before she took them into a bedroom. “Why don’t you lay down, okay? I’m so sorry about Ben, he has anger issues, but I promise I’ll get some sense through him.” Nancy made him take off his shoes and jacket before tucking him in the bed, which made him almost laugh. She kissed his forehead before leaving the room, leaving the door slightly open. In seconds, Donald was asleep.

*

Donald barely registered a sharp pain in his neck before his eyes opened slightly, the room a blur. His eyes shut a second later, and when they opened again, he had no idea where he was.

He shivered as he realized he was cuffed tied to a metal bed frame, in what was most likely a basement. A door creaked open and footsteps came down the stairs quickly, and Ben was suddenly standing over him.

“Hello there, Donald. I’m glad you’re finally awake, you little bitch.” Before he could say anything, Ben slapped him hard, his cheek stinging. “You think that hurt, sweetheart? I always knew you were a pussy anyways.” The stinging sensation hadn’t stopped when the man punched him, making his jaw ache. “We’re going to have so much fun together, _Donny_.”

Donald felt a shiver go down his spine, and he suddenly wished that he had never even came to Alaska in the first place. “Do you know who your real father is, Donny? No? Well maybe I can help you remember.” Ben moved away from him and Donald turned his head to see what he was doing. Ben rummaged around in a duffle bag before pulling out a syringe filled with blue liquid.

Ben walked back over to Donald and put the tip of the needle on his neck, but didn’t inject the liquid in him. “Sweet dreams, Donny.” Donald barely felt the needle  
pierce his skin before he feel asleep.

_“He’s not safe here anymore, Red. We have to take him somewhere else.” “We’re not abandoning our son, Nancy. I can’t do that to him, especially since I’m his soulmate!” Donald peeked out behind his bedroom door and saw mommy and daddy in the living room, both looking upset. “I know it’s hard, but he’ll get killed if we keep him here. We can give him to James, he can take care of him.”_


	3. Chapter 3

C H A P T E R  T H R E E

_Ben walked back over to Donald and put the tip of the needle on his neck, but didn’t inject the liquid in him. “Sweet dreams, Donny.” Donald barely felt the needle  
pierce his skin before he feel asleep._

_“He’s not safe here anymore, Red. We have to take him somewhere else.” “We’re not abandoning our son, Nancy. I can’t do that to him, especially since I’m his soulmate!” Donald peeked out behind his bedroom door and saw mommy and daddy in the living room, both looking upset. “I know it’s hard, but he’ll get killed if we keep him here. We can give him to James, he can take care of him.”_

*

Donald quickly lost track of time in the basement. It was a vicious cycle: Ben would beat him bloody, give him the mysterious blue liquid, he would wake up and then black out repeatedly, over and over again. Donald had a feeling that Ben was still keeping him there because he hadn’t remembered anything else after the first injection.

Donald still didn’t know what to believe. Was Reddington really his father? Was Nancy his mother? Maybe he just hallucinating all of it. He prayed he would wake up in his bedroom back in D.C.

“Hi Donny! How’s my favorite little boy?” Ben’s voice was laced with sarcasm as he entered the room; Donald hadn’t even noticed him. “Fuck off.” He said weakly, making Ben laugh in his face. “Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?” Donald swore this man had to be on something.

“Lucky for you, I don’t have time to beat some sense into you, so you’re just getting your injection today. Isn’t that exciting?” Thank fucking god, Donald thought; getting beaten daily was exhausting. As usual, Donald barely registered the needle going into his vein, and was out like a light in a second.

_“Daddy?” “Shh, just stay here, Donny. Don’t leave until I come back, okay?” Donald nodded at daddy and clutched his stuffed bunny to his chest, whimpering as his bedroom door was shut. He sat there for ages, refusing to leave just like daddy told him. A scream scared him out of his thoughts, and he forced himself not to open the door._

_The smell of smoke filled his nose and he shoved his face into his bunny, starting to cry. He just wanted daddy to come back. More screams and guns firing was all Donald could hear, until it suddenly stopped. He slid off his bed, shaking, and put his hand on the doorknob, quietly sliding the door open. His eyes watered as he stared at the fire and saw bodies littering the floor._

_“Donny!” Donald looked away and saw his mother in the hallway, her arms open. “Come here!” He started running towards her when someone grabbed her and dragged her away. “Mommy!” “Shut up! She told me you weren’t here, you little brat!” A man pulled him away from the hallway and suddenly his left wrist felt like it was on fire._

_Donald screamed and tried to get away, but the man held him still. He watched terrified as the man burned his soulmate’s name off of his wrist._


	4. Chapter 4

C H A P T E R  F O U R

Donald woke up shaking, covered in sweat. Tears fell from his eyes, and it took everything in him not to sob. _Raymond Reddington_. His father, his soulmate. His heart ached to be with him, and that hurt more than Ben’s abuse.

His train of thought was broken when he heard gunshots from above him, and his whole body tensed. _“Shh, just stay here, Donny. Don’t leave until I come back, okay?”_ Donald let out a whimper, and tried to think of anything but that night.

He must of blacked out, because when he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital room. “Hey, Ressler. How are you feeling?” Donald turned his head and Liz was there, her hand on his. “What happened?” He managed to choke out, and Liz squeezed his hand. “You weren’t responding to us, so we flew out here to check on you. When we got to the house, we found the man who hurt you trying to shoot his wife, but Meera shot him before he could. He’s in custody right now, and his wife is okay. Now can you answer my question?”

Donald didn’t answer for a moment, deciding what to tell Liz. “Psychically I feel fine, but that’s probably because of all the drugs they’ve given me,” He chuckled and Liz did too, giving him a small smile. “But mentally, I just…” He shook his head and bit his lip, trying not to cry. “I found out what happened to me when… when I was a child. There was a fire and… and this man he… burned off my soulmate’s name.”

Before he could help it, he was sobbing. Liz managed to get into his hospital bed and wrapped her arms around him, trying her best to soothe him. The memories filled his head once again, and he vaguely wondered if the screaming in his head was actually his.

*

They were all worried about him. It had been nine months since Donald’s kidnapping, and he hadn’t gotten any better. In fact, he had actually gotten worse.

Donald hadn’t talked since his time in the hospital. Sure, he would answer questions and talk to suspects, but that was it. He wouldn’t comment on anything or make sarcastic remarks like he used to. He would only talk when he needed to.

His silence bothered Liz. She was used to talking with him during their car rides to victims’ houses or when they were in their office doing paperwork. She knew he had been affected by his memories of his past, but she never thought it would get this bad. Donald had pushed all of them away, and it was scary.

Harold had decided it was finally time to get Donald to talk. He brought the agent into his office and sat down in front of him. The agent didn’t look at him, instead staring down at his hands. “Donald, what’s going on?” No response. “I know what happened to you in Alaska. Please just talk to me.” No answer. “Is it anxiety?” Donald shook his head. “Nightmares?” He nodded. “How long have they been going on for, Ressler?” Silence. “I’m not going to judge you, no one will. We want to help you.” Silence. “I have nightmares, too.” Silence. “Donald.” Silence. “Please.” Silence. “Nine months.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to anyone who has read this far! This is the final chapter, I hope you like it!  
> Feel free to leave a comment or a kudo!

 

C H A P T E R  F I V E

 

“I know you don’t want to, but you need to go to therapy, Donald. I’m going to have to resign you until I’ve seen your condition improve. I hate to do this to you, but all of us here want you to get better.” Donald didn’t say anything, just nodded at Harold. The agent left without a word and headed home, despite his colleagues asking him to stay longer.

 

Over the next few weeks, Donald did actually go to therapy, but it didn’t help him. His nightmares still plagued him every night, and talking about his memories just made him feel worse.

 

One night he sat alone in his living room, mindlessly watching television, when there was a knock on the door. Donald turned the tv off and went to the door, opening it. His heart stopped when he realized who was in front of him.  _ Raymond Reddington _ .

“Daddy?” The word came out before he even realized he had said it. Raymond moved past him and Dembe followed him, leaving Donald standing in the doorway. He stood there for a moment in shock, before closing the door and went into his bedroom where his father was. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you.” Before Donald could react, Raymond was kissing him, pulling him closer. There was no rush of adrenaline or spark like so many soulmates say to have experienced. It just felt like he was safe for the first time, safe with his daddy, like how it was supposed to be.

*

“What happened that night?” Raymond had been staying with his soulmate for three months, afraid of losing his son again. You could say they were codependent, but both of them would deny it.

Donald had improved greatly ever since his father came back into his life. He started talking more again, and eventually reached out to his team. Harold had finally approved him well enough to come back to the job, and he was starting in a few days. It still felt surreal to Donald that he was actually with his soulmate for this first time in thirty years.

“How long has it been now, a year?” A year since he was kidnapped, a year since he found out the truth. He nodded and laid his head on his father’s chest, closing his eyes. “When you were little, I was involved with a dangerous man named Berlin. He threatened to take you and Nancy away from me, since you two were my only weaknesses. I made you stay in your room because Berlin and his forces were already surrounding our home. By the time you left your room, at least half of the house was on fire, and Nancy made a bold attempt to try and save you, but one of Berlin’s men dragged her away from you, which you have already remembered. The man who you saw burn off my name was Berlin. What you don’t remember is that I shot him before he could harm you anymore, and then I carried you out of the house. I didn’t know until a year later that your mother had made it out alive. Now here we are, my little Donny.”

Neither of the soulmates said anything until they fell asleep. There was only silence.


End file.
